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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986510">I <3 Tabasco Sauce</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxxinct/pseuds/xuxxinct'>xuxxinct</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff and Humor, Gen, Snippets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:13:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23986510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxxinct/pseuds/xuxxinct</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Insights from Happy the Dragon.</p><p>[Because no one asks Festus on his side of things.]</p><p>aka things that happened between events in the lives of demigods.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Festus &amp; Leo Valdez, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I <3 Tabasco Sauce</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Uncle Rick is scouring this godforsaken site and lamenting the lack of Festus fics. Give! Festus! More! Love!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The breeze is good today.</p><p>Festus basks in the warm sunshine, flapping idly through the skies. The sea below is shimmering with jewels, and Festus is tempted to dive into them.</p><p>But he knows the jewels will disappear from his claws and all he will get is cold heaviness and stiff joints and a worried-angry Leo.</p><p>So he doesn't, like a good boy.</p><p>Piper said good boys deserve a reward—she'd said it to Lightning Boy, but Festus didn't see why he couldn't be included—so he swivels his head around for Leo.</p><p>Leo, his supreme supplier of Tabasco sauce, who is currently inches away from the face of Scary Titaness. They're locked in a weird intense gaze. Festus can easily recognize human courtship rituals after months of being around the other demigods.</p><p>His boy has his mouth open, a ridiculous expression on his face, yet nothing comes out. As the seconds tick by, seeing him struggle in his quest for Scary Titaness is quite painful. Festus decides to help out.</p><p>
  <em>Creak creak creak</em>
</p><p>"Ohmygodshutup!" Leo hisses, flushing a deep red as he jerks away from his mate. Festus snickers, a low <em>krk krk krk</em> and puffs of steam disperse. He turns back to the view ahead, lazily eyeing one lone bird that's minding its own business. Ah, the temptation to wrap his jaws around it is strong. But not stronger than his love for Tabasco sauce.</p><p>He is a good boy, Festus repeats to himself.</p><p>"What did he say?" Scary Titaness is amused.</p><p>"N-nothing, just commenting about the...air."</p><p>"Air."</p><p>Festus can hear how unimpressed she is with his demigod.</p><p>"Yeah, so...breezy and, uh, smells like freedom."</p><p>There was a pause. Festus is tempted to laugh again.</p><p>"Well, I suppose you're not wrong," she muses, "it is quite exhilarating. I've never traveled like this before."</p><p>Festus snorts. Of course! He was one of a kind. Not even that black horse with wings can compare to the likes of him. Majestic. Regal. <em>Shiny</em>. </p><p>Leo laughs, then drops his voice in an imitation of an announcer. "Festus, the demigods' very own personal plane and your ticket to freedom. Unlikely to be struck down by Lightning McKing. Happy flying!</p><p>Hmph. Festus can't decide whether to preen or be insulted that he was just compared to the ugly lugs of scrap metal the tiny humans traveled in.</p><p>
  <em>Creak squeak creak creak</em>
</p><p>Leo splutters, "Wha-Festus! No! You cannot destroy every plane you come across."</p><p>
  <em>Creak creak</em>
</p><p>"I'm pretty sure Chiron will mount both our heads over his living room if you do that. We don't want that."</p><p>
  <em>Creak creak creak</em>
</p><p>Leo sighs, "Fine, more Tabasco sauce. Cool. Now no destroying innocent planes."</p><p>Festus tosses his head smugly.</p><p>Good boys get their rewards.</p><p>(He pointedly ignores Leo's grumbles of <em>Manipulative overgrown—)</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I love Festus, man. He's like some giant stupid flying cat with the grace of a drunk goose.<br/>What was he creaking on about? Well... That's for you to imagine ;D<br/>I was, however, chortling like a toddler about <i>how much of a potty mouth Festus has.</i></p><p>Fun little story!<br/>I had stopped catching up with the books after the Hidden Oracle so I had no idea what state our beloved demigods and friends were in, particularly Jason and Piper.</p><p>So when I was scouring the wiki, it went more or less like:</p><p>Me: 💻 ( ･ ε ･｀ )<br/>Me: 💻 Σ(⊙_⊙    ) !!!!<br/>Me: 💻 REEEEEE~~~~~ (   ๏д๏ )</p><p>Anyways, I really enjoyed writing this. Might make more in the future because I have so many headcanons on Festus.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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